Annie Lane writes the Dear Annie advice column.Creators.com
Dear Annie: For the past several years, I have donated two medical scholarships to the local high school in memory of my mother-in-law. While I have received a couple of thank-you notes from students over the years, most of the time, I hear nothing — not even a simple acknowledgment from the school.
Because of this lack of appreciation, I am seriously considering not giving the scholarships this year. It’s disappointing to put money toward something meaningful and feel as though it’s taken for granted. I know there are plenty of other ways I could spend this $3,000 to make a difference.
Do you think I am being immature by withholding my scholarships because of lack of appreciation? I can’t help but wonder if all high schools treat their donors this way, or if this is just my experience.
I have truly loved being able to help young people further their education, but I’m starting to wonder if this is the best way to do it. What do you think? Am I expecting too much, or is it reasonable to want some acknowledgment? — Feeling Underappreciated
Dear Underappreciated: You are an amazing daughter-in-law, and your kindness toward your mother-in-law is truly touching. It’s completely understandable to want to feel appreciated. Even if the high school doesn’t offer formal acknowledgment, know in your heart how many lives you’re helping — and let that bring you inner warmth.
That said, sometimes a school’s silence isn’t due to ingratitude but simply a result of bureaucratic oversight. Often, the impact of your donation is felt more deeply by the students whose lives you touch, even if the school administration doesn’t express their thanks directly.
Before deciding to withhold your scholarships this year, consider having an open conversation with the school about your feelings. Sharing your perspective might encourage them to find a more personal way to show their appreciation. And if nothing changes, you deserve to explore other ways to make a difference — places where your support is celebrated and nurtures a stronger sense of community.
Your desire for acknowledgment isn’t immature; it’s human. In the end, it’s your choice, and you have to do what brings you the most satisfaction.
Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.
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