Isaac McDonald is from Newport, and this year, he’s a freshman at Columbia University in New York City on a full scholarship.
Producer Erica Heilman interviewed Isaac previously about growing up poor in the Northeast Kingdom.
In the latest installment of “What class are you?,” she caught up with Isaac on his first trip home from college. They talked about class dynamics at Columbia and what it feels like to be on a full scholarship there.
This interview was produced for the ear. We highly recommend listening to the audio. We’ve also provided a transcript, which has been edited for length and clarity.
Isaac McDonald: Before I go into college, I thought, “Yes, I’m going to take advantage of every office hour. I’m going to be very headstrong with it, and I’m going to join a lot of clubs and stuff.”
And then I get there, and I feel much more intimidated than I thought I was going to feel.
One, I think it’s like the level of work that is expected, and then the prestige surrounding the school, and even, like, the background of the professors, and so I’m trying to work myself up to be less intimidated. I just feel like it’s less approachable for me.
Erica Heilman: What is your sense of what it means to be from Vermont? What it means to be from your family? What it means to be from this town?
Isaac McDonald: So there’s two things. One, there’s a very clear separation between a rich community and a poor community. And I don’t really interact with rich people there. Most all of my friends are also like, poor, normally first-generation, low-income students. I met some of them through the program I was in, QuestBridge.
But I feel, to me, there’s this separation between like, rich people interacting and poor people interacting with each other.
Erica Heilman: How does that manifest? What do you notice?
Isaac McDonald: I can just note how I, personally, have experienced this, in that I know that there’s people who go out to, like, shop a lot. Richer people will go to richer places, and they’ll interact more that way. There’s people who wear like, $400, $800 jeans, and it’s like, that’s just something that’s completely alien to me. I just think, “Why? Why would you do that?” I don’t know. I just don’t really see the value in it. And that’s kind of condescending, I think, to say that, but I don’t know.
It’s just, I know that most of my friends are poorer than the average Columbia student, and that may be sort of why we’re friends, is because we relate that way.
Erica Heilman: What was it like to come back? How did you see your circumstance differently when you got back to Vermont?
Isaac McDonald: I guess thinking about that right now, that sort of might be part of the intimidation of me being at school, because it’s so grand, and comparatively I’m so small.
Being back home, it’s like, well, I’m pretty equal here. And it’s sort of like how the institution is always going to be better than you, and that’s sort of the job of the institution, is it’s supposed to be better than you so you can learn from it. But also it still gives that sense of inferiority to me, I think.
Erica Heilman: But does that have to do with class also?
Isaac McDonald: I think so, because it’s grand in the way that it’s like academically grand, but also it’s a very, very wealthy school, and so I’m unsure if, like, administration really understands what I’m going through. And so I feel a pressure to not really interact with some of the people in administration, or like, I have to explain myself more to try and get my point across, because I had issues with financial aid recently, and so I was trying to work through them. I didn’t really know how to work through them, because I’m not sure if they’re going to completely understand what I’m saying.
I don’t have any prior understanding of this, of this financial landscape. My dad never had to worry about it, because he only went to get an associates, and he didn’t really manage his money well. And so it’s like, how am I supposed to just sort of figure this into it? I have to do something with this degree. I have to do something that will repay the value of the degree.
It seems like the constant goal of a low-income student is to extract value from their education.
Erica Heilman: And what does that have to do with class?
Isaac McDonald: I’m unsure if that’s the exact feeling that someone richer may have, because that’s just simply, I just have no experience with it. I have no clue. I haven’t asked any rich people about, “What do you think of your degree,” or “What do you think your degree is going to do for you?” I just think that there’s less of this financial burden on rich people.
Erica Heilman: How does your being a first-generation student … how attached do you feel to that fact about yourself?
Isaac McDonald: There’s a bit of anxiety, there’s a bit of nervousness, because it’s like I have to — I feel I have to prove to myself that I can get value, extract value from college, and that I can get unique ideas.
Erica Heilman: In some way because of this scholarship?
Isaac McDonald: Because of this perception of expectation. I perceive that there is an expectation on me to succeed in college, even if there isn’t. I’m not sure if there is or isn’t. I just see it that way of, I have this expectation of myself and other people have an expectation of me to continue being like, this prodigal son or this prodigal grandson or this prodigal nephew who’s very intelligent and goes to college now and will do very well in college and will make meaningful things.
And it’s like, when can I say for myself that I’ve accomplished that? When can I say for myself that I’ve created something meaningful?
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